Chance and Choices
by redprint
Summary: She sat on the bed, next to his feet, trying really hard to remember all the reasons why she shouldn't have sex with him. But they were so hollow, so fuelled by fear. Rated M.


**A/N: **This is totally out of time but I have been watching some old episodes and there it was – the chemistry between Mulder and Scully that made The X-Files so powerful that some of us are still waiting for a third movie. While it may never happen (so I hear), here is a little story to remind you of our iconic heroes.

It would be very nice to read your reviews! Knock yourself out. :)

**DISCLAIMER**: Thank you, Chris Carter (and Fox), for giving us a love story that will live in our hearts for a very long time. And, of course, I don't own anything.

* * *

**Chance and Choices: When Love Shapes the Path of Life**

It happened naturally, and yet unexpectedly. He came back from his trip to London, disappointed that no crop circles showed up. A big waste of time, he told her when they met by chance in the park. She was confused when she realized it was him and not the blond mystery woman with a hat. It felt like chance had nothing to do with it. She invited him over a cup of tea and they ended up at his place. They talked throughout all evening. She told him things she never thought she would tell anyone; intimate things about her affair with Daniel and her experience in the Buddhist temple. So much was being left unexplained.

They were sitting on his couch debating over the path they had chosen in their lives. She fell asleep but he just kept talking. His words sounded distant, soothing. So much happened in just one day. And then she felt his fingers gently brush her hair and pull the blanket over her body. Sweet tiredness took over her body, made her unable to react to his ministrations. The love she felt for him … She woke up few hours after, legs and neck stiff and a warm feeling in her chest. Her mind went instantly to him. Mulder?

To say she loved him was trivial. Daniel's touch was familiar and awakened long forgotten memories but the feeling she got when Mulder looked at her or touched her was pure electricity. It made her feel alive in the most fulfilling manner. And she craved for it so much that it scared her. Nobody evoked such strong feelings in her. It made her question what she really wanted. She didn't lie to Daniel about her life when she told him she didn't know what she had. It wasn't a common partnership or a friendship with Mulder. It transcended both. It ran deeper. And the long-lasting fear of letting go was finally becoming redundant.

She decided to check on him before she left. She walked silently to the half-opened door of his bedroom and saw him there breathing slowly, his chest rising and falling. The sheets were barely covering him, the soft skin exposed to the night air. A shiver ran through her when she let her eyes travel his body. How could want spread so fast?

She sat on the bed, next to his feet, trying really hard to remember all the reasons why she shouldn't have sex with him. But they were so hollow, so fuelled by fear. He felt a presence in the room and opened his eyes. She didn't know what to say when he looked at her.

"Scully?" it was just a whisper.

She wondered if she should leave.

"Dana?" He sat up, the sheet falling all the way down. He was wearing just his boxers.

A lump formed in her throat. A good one. Get a grip, she thought, "Yeah, I was just checking on you. I'm gonna go home."

She intended to, really, she did.

"You don't have to," his voice was still dreamy.

She swallowed. She wanted to stay so badly but fear settled in her heart at the thought of bridging the last barrier with him. "We'll see each other in the morning," she finally said and got up.

She was determined to put on her coat, find her keys and leave. So determined that she didn't hear him rise out of bed. She put on her jacket, her car keys already dangling between her fingers. She had no idea he was standing behind her, watching her.

"Why are you leaving?" the tone of his voice was unreadable.

She froze. The keys fell from her hand and hit the ground with a loud rattle. Had he been there the whole time? Had he seen how frantic she was? She didn't want to look at him. Dammit, she cursed to herself. She was not a coward. She turned slowly to face him, eyes brimming with tears.

His heart stopped. How much pain a person can take? He uncrossed his arms and stepped closer to her. His hand found hers and squeezed it tightly. She leaned into his chest and his arms hugged her instinctively.

"I can feel your fear," he whispered and put her hand on his chest. She could feel his heartbeat. "I'm not afraid of it."

She sighed deeply and closed her eyes. She wanted to say something. To reassure him that he really was the only man that knew her completely. But she couldn't think straight with him so close, holding her so gently. Warmth filled her tired body.

"I can't let you go," he suddenly said. His voice was clear, honest. She felt her legs go weak. His fingers traced small patterns up her arm and stopped at her collarbone. He wasn't sure how she would respond to him touching her so suggestively.

"Stay," he whispered into her ear.

A shy shiver spread up her spine to remind her of all the things that could happen, of all the places his hands could touch and love. He was the only man that wanted her the way she was.

She smiled at him through tears and kissed him tenderly on his forehead. Her eyes found his, and she couldn't leave anymore.

Dear God.

He took her face into his hands gently and caressed her red cheeks. The blue in her tearful eyes shined in the half-light. There was so much to forgive, so much to live.

Their faces were mere breaths apart, lips almost touching. She could feel his warm breath against her lips, could smell his scent. How could anything feel so good? Her eyes glistened from all that she kept inside. And when the tension became too thick and the need unbearable her lips touched his. They kissed slowly at first, lips tenderly moving, exploring but she wanted more. She pulled at his neck and their lips locked into a hot kiss. Her heart opened to him and began this wonderful dance that matched the movement of his lips and hands. She clutched at his shoulders and he pressed her tightly to him. She needed to breathe badly but her body was unable to let go of that ridiculously full and soft lower lip.

He broke the kiss, finally. The pounding of their hearts filled the silent room. Same rhythm, same deep longing. She wasn't sure it was physically possible.

He trembled then.

"You okay?" she panicked for a moment.

His lips quirked up, "Am I okay? I'm more than okay."

She smiled at him and he lifted her up into his lap.

"What are you doing?" she freaked.

"What I should've done a long time ago."

The night was dark and a storm was raging outside. She could hear the rain beating up against the window pane. She took off her top in one swift motion and waited for him to unzip her skirt. It felt so erotic to let him do that. She didn't care if she appeared needy because he was right beside her, matching her need.

He knelt down behind her and kissed her bottom cheek. She bit her lip and reached for his hand. He got up and led her to the bed where he arranged soft pillows for her. She let herself fall on the bed and waited for him to lie down next to her. She searched for his hand but he stopped her.

"Lie back down," he simply said.

She lay back against the soft pillows. Her mind was racing to understand what he had in mind. His gaze made her pale skin transform into a deep red. She felt the urge to cover herself.

"Don't," he stopped her hand from moving to her breasts. "You're beautiful."

Her heart was thumping. There was no way he couldn't see her frustrated soul.

"Mulder …" she pleaded.

His eyes bore into hers, "I hear you."

He moved his hand across her right leg, just to get the feel of her skin. Her mouth opened just barely and he molded the inside of her thigh. She sighed in expectation. Her hands were desperate to touch him. He circled her muscle, making it twitch. His lips curled into a smile.

"Mulder," she warned him.

He hummed and ran his finger under the elastic band of her panties. She moaned when he caressed her lower belly. Hot bolts of pleasure went through her womb, making her pant.

He glided his hand over her hips and up to her breasts. Long slow strokes that were mimicking his desire for her. He looked into her glittering blue eyes then. She was flushed from desire, finally letting him love her.

"Mulder, please," her voice was low, desperate. "I need to touch you," she breathed out the last two words. Her pupils were dilated, heart pounding in her ears. She wished she could hide her arousal. It made her feel too vulnerable. Her hardened nipples stood proudly in front of him and she wanted to cry out in frustration.

He moved then.

She spread her legs to accommodate him between her thighs but he had other plans. Instead, he put his legs on either side of her hips and stood on all fours, hovering above her.

His breathing was strained, the erection in his boxers more than evident. He lowered down just a little and planted a light, chaste kisses on her forehead.

"I want you," he whispered against her lips.

Her chest contracted and she swallowed hard. He wanted her. She wanted to tell him she felt the same but it felt as if someone cemented her vocal cords.

He kissed her jaw, not minding her silence. His kisses were hot, wet, demanding. And when he found the right spot on her neck her vocal cords erupted into a loud moan.

"Looks like I've found a treasure here," he joked.

She chuckled. Her breath quickened when she realized that her breast were next.

"I …," she felt the need to stop him. It was getting too intense.

But he was relentless. He circled one nipple with the tip of his tongue and her voice faded.

"You were saying?" he asked and closed his mouth over the hard peak.

"Oh, God, don't stop …" she panted.

He smiled and took the other nipple in his mouth, gave it the same treatment. She could feel her arousal rising, sending hot gushes to her sex. Her hands were in his hair, stroking him gently.

He stopped then.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"I want to kiss your lips."

He let his body fall on hers and cupped her face with his hands. His eyes fixated on her lips. She wetted them subconsciously. He groaned in response and kissed her passionately. Heat enveloped her face, and when his tongue found its way into her mouth she almost swooned. Too much longing could do that. He could do that.

"You taste so sweet," he whispered through kisses.

She moaned against his lips and her hands grabbed his shoulders. She pressed him tightly to her, feeling his erection press against her thigh. Her hands glided all over his back and squeezed his still clothed ass. He groaned and broke the kiss.

There was something wild in his stare and she was sure her eyes mirrored the same emotions. He did that to her, make her free and fierce.

"Spread your legs," he said suddenly.

Her eyes widened.

"I want to see you come," his voice was a low growl.

Her insides squirmed. It was one thing to spread her legs in the actual act of sex, and another to do it in front of him and just for him while he watched intently.

She spread her legs slowly, trying not to get too self-conscious, and he made more room for her under his body. Her mind was racing. She couldn't believe it was actually happening. Her hands touched his hips and slid over his buttocks. He let his control go for a moment and she took advantage of it. Her hands left his hips and cupped his bulge, squeezing it lightly at first, then firmly. It felt intoxicating to be able to touch him there. He groaned loudly and she moaned in response.

"Do that again and I won't last much longer," he panted.

She chuckled and he grabbed her hand. His eyes caught hers. So many unspoken words went through them. She wanted to say something meaningful but his dreamy hazel eyes held her to his mercy.

"You're breathtaking," he whispered.

Her lips curled at the corners. What did she do to deserve him?

He let his body fall on top of hers. The feel of his skin against hers was delicious but she needed more.

"Please, Mulder," she panted against his face.

He stared at her and swallowed. His hips pressed down into her hard. She moaned desperately as hot waves of pleasure spilled over her body. The intensity of the feeling was overwhelming.

"Jesus," she breathed.

"See, that's what I mean," he whispered, hot puffs colliding with her ear. "It makes you lose control. And don't go thinking," he continued, "that you won't lose control tonight."

A rush of adrenaline went through her at his words. She wanted badly to let him have his way with. She watered her lips to speak but he was already getting back on all fours.

"I want you to feel the way I feel," he went on. His voice was low, dense. His hands cupped her breasts and his thumbs brushed her nipples.

"I want you to need me as I need you," he lowered his mouth to the space between her breasts, trailing a line up to her throat and back down to her left nipple. He sucked on the little bud with such tenderness that she felt tears stung her eyes. Did he know how much she needed him? How much she relied on him?

"Mulder …" his voice was a sincere tremble of letters, "I need you now."

He groaned something back and thrust into her. She closed her eyes and arched her back against him.

"Do you know the effect you have on me, Scully?" he asked with a grave voice.

She shook her head, feeling almost scared amidst all the powerful emotions.

"No?" he asked, doubting her.

She wanted to reply but his hands went over her lips. "You make me want to do things to you you'll never forget."

She trembled slightly. She knew his imaginative mind all too well.

He shifted suddenly, leaving a feeling of emptiness around her.

"Where are you going?" she sounded alarmed.

"I'm not going anywhere, Scully." He planted a hot kiss against her lower abdomen, slowly approaching her sex. She was watching him intently. Was he going…? Oh my, God. Her head fell down into the pillow.

He lifted one thigh and the other, placing them both on his shoulders. He stared at her groing, swallowing hard. The signs of her arousal were overwhelming. She was swollen, wet, ready for him. And he was denying her.

"Mulder," she pleaded desperately. Her hands reached for his head and grabbed his hair. She didn't care what he would think. He thighs spread wider in front of him, urging him on.

He inched closer and suddenly it was all a blur of sensations. He ran his tongue through her folds up to her clit, teasing it just barely. Her hips jerked against his mouth and whimpers escaped her lips. He spread her further apart and looked up to her. Her back was arched and her hands were cupping her breasts. He gasped.

"Don't stop. Just don't stop," she whispered.

"I won't," he said and closed his lips over her clit, sucking lightly.

"Oh my, God!" she panted and squeezed the sheet under her. Streaks of white light flashed behind her eyes.

He circled it with his tongue, adding pressure to the side of it while his finger found her opening and slid into her. She groaned loudly, her head trashing from side to side. He added a second finger and started moving within her. She was impossibly wet, so close to the brink of oblivion. He circled her walls while skillfully teasing the bud of nerves. His fingers found a sweet spot inside of her and that did it. She bucked against him uncontrollably and let out a low guttural moan. It took her a while to regain her senses.

"Oh, God," she sighed when she finally opened her eyes.

He was lying on his side next to her, his head suspended on his elbow.

"That was amazing," she breathed.

"I see that," he teased her.

She smiled bashfully at him. She moved to face him and brushed her thigh against his erection. He was left behind. She grinded herself against him, and he groaned in appreciation. But those boxers … they had to go now.

"Get rid of your boxers," she commanded.

"Scully …," he feigned a shocked face and she chuckled heartily.

"Help me," he added.

He shifted his hips and she removed the black garment, tossing it to the floor. His penis stood proudly erect in front of her eyes. She gasped.

"Saw something you like, agent?" his lips curled into a smile.

"Like is an understatement, Mulder."

He grinned in response and searched for her hands. She moved towards his lap again and intertwined her fingers with his. His erection got caught between their bodies. She licked his lips and he squeezed her ass cheeks. He definitely knew how to touch her.

"Make love to me," she whispered against his moist lips.

He adjusted himself against the pillows and grabbed her by her waist. She could have not escaped from that grip even if she wanted to. Slowly she descended on him. She shut her eyes. The walls of her vagina contracted around his hard-rock erection to make more space for him. He groaned loudly and she followed him with barely audible whimpers. It was as if all her body throbbed from the feeling of him inside of her.

Warm hands grabbed her shoulder blades before their bodies could set the pace. The ways he smoothed his hands over her back made her feel she could mold into his touch, become skin to his flesh, so he could carry her with him wherever he'd go. So that he could never ditch her again.

Tears started to stream down her cheeks again. He could feel them trickling down his chin. Buried deep inside her he collected all his will-power to stop her. The salty liquid reminded him of everything that had been done to her. The courage she displayed at times was hard to conceive.

He held her face in his hands and looked into those sincere eyes. Her forehead was damp and her red hair was disheveled from their love-making. But all he could see were the depths of her mind, the pain and love that resided there.

She took his left hand and kissed the center of his palm. He sighed silently and brushed her cheek lightly. What wouldn't he do to protect her from all the evil that prayed at them?

Their foreheads met and he started to plant small kisses on her eyes, cheeks, lips, chin … he had nothing else to offer. And he wanted that pain gone, that very moment. It would not spoil their first time together. Though he wasn't sure it could be avoided either.

She kissed him back on his lips as if to tell him that they were going to be okay, even if the pain could not be erased. She started to move again, rocking him deeper into her, accepting him as part of her just as much as she was part of him. He thrust hard against her pelvis and she moaned into his shoulder.

"Let it go," he whispered softly into her neck. "I'm here. I'll hold you."

She was never the type of woman to come when men suggested it. It infuriated her, made her feel degraded. But that night she wanted to let go, forget about everything except the two of them in that bedroom.

She rocked harder against him, her nails dug into the tender flesh of his shoulder blades. He was slowly losing it. Her moves, so exquisite against him, were threatening to send him over the edge and leave her alone in her burning need.

"Scully … God, I can't hold back anymore." He squeezed his eyes shut.

She raised his head to look at his face. She was close, as well, but the sadness she felt a few minutes before prevented her to enjoy their love fully. And, besides, she never came twice. Maybe she was the Ice Queen, after all.

He opened his eyes and saw her brows furrow. He felt her drift away from him.

"Stay with me," he said firmly.

"It's okay. I'm fine."

Fine? He'd be damned if he let her get away with it. He could be very well about to explode inside her, but he wouldn't let her behave bravely this time.

"I don't care how other men were, Scully. I like to think I have my own style."

His words struck her. He couldn't possibly know what she had been thinking. With one swift motion he grabbed her bottom and positioned her on her back. A new wave of sensations spread over her. And she loved the weight of his body on top of hers.

"I want you to be fucking great, Scully. I want you to scream in my arms even louder than you have before."

Even louder? Did she actually scream earlier? "Jesus, Mulder." Her breathing quickened and her legs went around his lower back by their own command. He lifted his upper body on his elbows so he could look into her face.

He slid inside of her again. Slowly at first. She gazed into his eyes as he penetrated her.

"I love you," he said. It sounded like a confession hidden from the world for such a long time.

Tears welled in her eyes. She loved him, too. He started moving inside of her and it felt as if his thrusts were tuned to her heart, each one leaving a message of love, and each one hit that spot that made her lose every thread to this world. White, red, purple, black … she saw it all and it made no sense. Her body moved by its own accord, always in rhythm with his. He lowered his head and chanted her name as if it was the only thing he learned in his life.

And then she felt it. The feel of a blossoming lotus in her uterus. Her fingers pulled at his hair, and her muscles convulsed against him. He tried to silence her screams with a trembling hand but failed. He was sure someone would come running to their apartment, asking if everything was alright. The power of her pleasure pushed him over the edge in no time and he collapsed on top of her. His groans clashed against her screams he tried in vain to silence.

They rested against each other, both spent. Her fingers played leisurely with his hair and he hummed against her breasts.

"That was something," he said and looked up to meet her dazed gaze.

"Yeah," she smiled. "It happens when you wait for seven years." Seven years to admit that their lives were so entrenched that they couldn't live without each other. Seven years to realize that it was not worth the wait.

"Have we been counting, agent Scully?"

"We certainly have," she teased back and he grinned at her.

She placed a kiss on his forehead and he smiled mischievously at her.

"What?" she asked amused.

"I always knew you were the undiscovered screamer."

She felt like hurting him. "Really?"

He nodded and rolled to her side.

"You were beautiful."

She blushed. "You were not bad yourself."

"Not bad, huh?" he whispered and moved her closely to him.

"Oh, don't be so proud!"

He chuckled and kissed her deeply. His hand went around her waist and sneaked between her ass cheeks. She moaned loudly and put her leg around his waist. He groaned when he felt her wetness and she nudged him in his groin.

"Scully, don't start something you don't want to finish."

"Again, Mulder?"

"As many times as you want."

"We'll see about that," she looked at him playfully.

"Are you saying I'm not up to the task?"

"No, I'm saying you may be surprised at how many times I'd like you to … do me."

His eyes went wild for a second and she felt his erection grow against her stomach.

"I know that look," she said and pressed against his erection.

"Jesus, Scully, you know your moves … but I also know mine."

"Oh, God!" she gasped when he brushed her clitoris with his penis. He moved slowly, easily sliding between her swollen folds. Her breath was short and her heartbeat sped up. She started to grind herself against him.

They were lying against each other on their sides. Her leg was pressing him tightly to her when he felt his orgasm approaching.

"Turn around," he said.

She didn't have time to comply. He turned her so that her bottom was against his groin. She stopped breathing when she felt his penis between her cheeks. He groaned and squeezed her right breast.

"Oh, God, Mulder …" she moaned when his penis reached her opening.

"Scully …" he pleaded. He wanted her to make space for him. His right hand went all the way down and he cupped her sex. It felt so hot in his palm.

She was lost in her gasps. How could anything feel so good?

"Mulder …" his name was all she could say.

He molded her soft flesh and she spread her legs to let him enter her.

"Oh, God …" he panted, "you're so tight."

She hummed in response. He was thrusting slowly but persistently against her ass. Nothing else mattered. A flying source could have come right into his bedroom and he wouldn't give a fuck. Besides, he saw plenty of UFO's and all it got him was trouble. Scully was his safe haven.

"Mulder?"

"Yeah?" he had hard time breathing.

"Faster."

He sped up his rhythm and his thrusts intensified.

"God …" her voice was low.

"Scully," he breathed her name.

He could feel her body stiffen and her breath become ragged. He still had trouble believing that any of it was happening when he heard her speak.

"Oh, my God, I'm coming again," she squeezed the white sheet under her hand.

He came instantly. A loud groan escaped his mouth and drowned her soft moans. She was still spasming but the intensity slowly subsided. He held her tightly to him, his hand leisurely caressing her right breast.

She sighed and turned to look at him. Drops of sweat were running down his front. She was sure she looked exactly the same. Hot and sweaty. She smiled to him.

"I love you," she said.

He knew it but something inside him broke and tears filled his eyes. She brushed them away. She always knew he was emotional but she also came to know that he did not cry easily.

"It's okay," she whispered and kissed him on his lips. But he couldn't contain himself any longer. He burst out and cried against her shoulder blade. He wanted to admit how sorry he was for all that happened to them and that none was her fault. He buried his face behind her back and cried his soul out. She turned slowly and gently she touched his face.

"I'm sorry," he said through hard sobs.

"Let it out," she whispered and moved his face to up to hers. She wanted him close to her. He felt another burst of emotions cloud his eyes. His hands went around her waist and he put his head against her chest. Hot tears were wetting her skin while she whispered words of comfort againt his forehead.

Slowly he calmed down. "I remember when we first met. I knew instantly that you were … different," he said, interrupting the silence of the room.

"Different?"

Although he wasn't looking at her he knew she raised her brow. He had to smile.

"Yeah. Incredibly smart, grounded, honest. Different."

"Just that?" she faked disappointment.

"Oh, Scully, with you nothin's _just that_."

She smiled wholeheartedly and caressed his cheek.

"You have a way with words," she said and looked him in the eye.

"So I've been told," he replied and moved between her legs.

"Mulder?"

"What?" he pressed lightly against her.

"What are you doing?"

"Oh, nothing."

"Again?" she was incredulous.

"Let me see," he shifted a little and sneaked his hand between her legs. She was still wet. His fingers went easily through her folds. He entered her and found the spot that made her pupils dilate. She moaned. He withdrew his hand and cupped her face with both of his hands.

"I love you so much," he whispered and rested his forehead against hers.

She brushed her nose against his and sighed softly. He turned to his side then so he could look into her face without crushing her. He was amazed that she loved him.

"The world didn't end, right?" he joked.

She chuckled remembering the New Year kiss they shared. So chaste and sweet. He pulled her close and kissed her lips. He wanted to stay that way forever.

"I thought I knew love in the past," she spoke all of sudden.

"Scully?" he searched for her expression but she looked down to her chest. He let her continue.

"I'm seeing right now that I didn't know anything," she looked at him then. "I have never been able to let go until now."

He nodded and stroked her side.

"I feel safe with you, Mulder," she looked into his eyes and saw a streak of fear vanishing.

He smiled and his muscles relaxed.

"I love you, Mulder. I have for a very long time," her voice trembled at the last few words.

"Scully," he whispered and hugged her tightly in his arms. All his emotions conveyed in her name.

"I held back for so long," she spoke through sobs that shook her voice. "I didn't want you to know how much I rely on you."

"I know that."

"You know?"

The question sounded stupid. Who was she kidding?

"You built a wall around you to keep the feeling of a normal life – a life I couldn't give you."

She shivered in his arms.

He pressed her tighter to him. "I understood you. And for a long time it was enough for me just to have you around. Even when we argued, I couldn't imagine not having you near me."

"Mulder …," she kissed his chest.

"I have never doubted your loyalty … or our relationship."

"I know. I drew strength from knowing that. I still do," she admitted.

He smoothed her back lightly and she kissed him hard on his mouth. He brushed his nose against hers and she smiled.

"What about Skinner?" he asked and shut his eyes.

"You just couldn't help yourself, could you?" she sounded annoyed.

He grinned.

"I don't want anyone to know," she said then.

He nodded. "Wanna set some ground rules?"

She smiled. "Yes."

"Shoot it."

"No touching at work," she said and waited for his expression.

"Dana Katherine Scully, I never!"

She chuckled.

"Wanna hear mine?" he asked.

"You have one?" she was incredulous.

He squeezed her ass.

"Oh, you do have one."

"Yeah. Stop telling me that you're fine when you clearly aren't."

That got her unprepared. "Mulder …"

"No. It's a ground rule, remember? No objections. You can rely on me as much as you want or don't want. Just be honest about your feelings."

She wanted to say something but he shook his head. His fingers traced the line of her lips and she submitted to his caress. She was sure it was going to be difficult but the knowledge that he would be there for her, and never judging, comforted her in so many ways. She heard him whisper 'I love you' against her skin once more and she closed her eyes. She had found a home at last.


End file.
